Keeping Sex After Menopause
Sex after menopause may not seem to be a mild problem from a distance and its impact not felt until it hits home.
After dealing with hot flashes and other early menopause symptoms,
sexual difficulties then show up often as a late problem with ramified
implications.
Menopause and sex have come a long way. In the not
to far past, talking about sex and menopause was almost a taboo. In fact
post menopausal women who not supposed to expect any more bedroom moves
after the pregnancy years were over.Having sexual activity after
menopause was almost unacceptable.Things seemed to have changed
substantially. Today, post menopausal women are appropriately known to
still be women, with their sexuality retained though fertility lost.
Therefore sex after menopause is becoming more acceptable to the society
and also to women in particular.
For Real?
The answer is yes. The first extreme of trying to dispel the sex
after menopause is gone. Today, there seems to be swing to the other
extreme in some women,sometimes by some therapy manufacturers or
retailers, who may make women expect sex after menopause as though they
were in their late 20s and 30s. As obvious as you cannot function as
effectively in other areas as when you were younger, so is the
sexuality. Remember that menopause does not come alone. It comes with
its twin sister, age!
These being said, a woman after menopause
should expect to still have a sexual life and most especially intimacy
with her partner, after menopause if desired. There will be new
challenges to handle and in order to have a post menopause sexual life
suited for its lifetime location. The truth is, there is no magic
therapy now available to blast off all the sexual effects of menopause
and completely restore sexuality as before. However, specific
symptom-directed therapy may help relief some of the menopausal changes
affecting the sexual response and act.
Menopause and Your Sexuality
The interplay between menopause and sex is not straightforward. It is more
than just sexual drive or vaginal dryness. Many issues can affect any
specific woman’s sexual life after menopause including physical changes
of menopause, aging, her health status, religious beliefs, socioeconomic
status,pre-menopause sexual experiences, ups and downs in her
relationship, ordinary daily stresses of life, her self-image and so on.
It is therefore a daunting task to try to come out with one straight
sex after menopause formula for every woman.
These factors affect
- Sexual drive or libido
- Sexual arousal, including vaginal secretions
- Sexual act, especially penetration.
- Orgasms
A brief review of some of the factors that may interfere with sex after menopause are briefly discussed below
Vaginal discomfort
Result
of the thinning and dryness of the vaginal wall causes by low
estrogen.It is a very frequent complain interfering with sex after
menopause. May also be as a result of infection, vaginal wall
contraction( vaginismus) or inflammation of the vagina wall.
Pain in the vulva or pelvis
Vulva is the external part of the genitals. Pain may result from menopause changes or other medical conditions.
Urinary incontinence
Low
estrogens causes thinning of urethra and pelvic wall muscle
relaxation. Keeping urine in the bladder may become challenging,
especially if she had many vaginal deliveries. Urinary flow during
intercourse may be very embarrassing to women and makes them simply
avoid it.
Hot flashes
Severe flashes
can negatively impact sex. Hot and red are not sexy at all. Also, the
need to regulate room temperature to suit your partner may have caused
some couples to sleep in two different rooms! However, such severe
flashes should be treated with hormone replacement therapy which is
often effective.
Health problems
Menopause comes with age and associated diseases that come with age. These chronic diseases can interfere with sexuality.
Mood swings
Depression
or anxiety may interfere with sexual activity. Also, some of the drugs
used for their treatment also have sexual side effects making things
worse.
Sleep problems
In the US,
about 46% of women between 40 to 54 years, and 48% of those aged 55 to
64 report sleep problems. They get exhausted and do not want to even
think of sex as part of their agenda.
Stresses of daily life
Not
only do these make a woman exhausted at the end of the day but they
deprive her of any time for privacy. If you have adolescents at home,
you know what that mean to your sexual privacy! Be sure to set time for
your privacy.
Poor self-image
Poor
body image or even low sexiness of her partner who is also facing the
toll of age. These should be accepted and properly handled. Focus on
your positive attributes and on giving and receiving pleasure rather
than the body image.
Relationship issues
Not
only the lack of a partner but also the possible relationship tensions
with any available partner may negatively impact the sexual life.
Menopause Sex Drive Or Libido
Libido or sex drive changes after menopause. For most women, it reduces.
However, some women report just the opposite. It is basically caused by
low estrogen and though no one single therapy available to treat all
cases, there are multiple other ways to improve the libido.
Treatment For Menopause Sexual Problems
First, treatment of problems of sex after menopause is not an
obligation for all women. Maybe the first question for the specific
woman is to consider whether therapy is needed or not depending on what
she wants and her circumstances. The fact that you are reading this
text very likely implies you are interested in any possible solutions to
this problem.
There is no single magic formula because the issues
that may be responsible are so many and complex. However, many methods
are now available which have proven to help women across the different
menopause age ranges. These include self-help options, sexual
counseling, prescription therapies and resources. The options chosen are
individualized to suit each woman.
- Talking to your healthcare provider.Disclosing
sexual difficulties in the healthcare setting is no easy task. Let
alone sex after menopause. Nevertheless, it will be very helpful even
if you think it is not medical or there seems to be no therapy. He/ she
is the expert and may know some cause or therapy available which you are
not aware of. It may also modify what kind of drugs could be prescribed
for you. - Healthy lifestyle. Self-image
has an effect on your sexual health. Exercise, avoid excessive weight,
eat healthy, stop smoking , moderate alcohol consumption. - Sex therapy. This
seeks to deal with non-sexual social and relationship issues that may
be negatively affecting your sexual health. Sex therapy sessions have to
be attended by the couple for maximum benefits. It may significantly
improve sex after menopause for some couples. - Lubricants, moisturizers and estrogen creams. These
are very effective for relieving vaginal and vulva discomfort during
sex. Remember to avoid using soap to do your toileting or scented toilet
papers as they may irritate your vulva and vaginal lining. Also avoid
detergents when washing your underwear.There are many lubricants
and moisturizers out there in the market. You may need to use many to
discover which one is suitable for you. They act by relieving the
dryness and making penetration more comfortable. Examples incude
Astroglide, FemGlide, Just Like Me, Pink, Pjur, Fresh Start, K-Y Silk-E
etcEstrogen creams, which restore estrogen to the vaginal lining,
try to bring it back to a near pre-menpause state.It is particularly
indicated when lubricants or moisturizers have failed. It may come as
cream, vaginal ring or vaginal table. Examples include Premarin cream,
Estring (low-dose vaginal ring),Vagifem (vaginal tablet). You should
discuss with your healthcare provider to see if it is suitable for you
and what forms will be appropriate. - Sexual devices. Vibrators or vaginal dilators may be used either alone for specific problems or combine with other therapies above.Yoga, Kegel Exercises, Pelvic Floor Physical TherapyThese may significantly improve the sexual lives of some women. Kegel exercises seek to straighten the pelvic floor muscles.
- Resources. There are many resources on sex out there. Many are just noise and so you should be sure to get information from the experts in this area. Please see below.
- Do not forget your partner. Any associated problems like erectile dysfunction should be treated.
- Give a new turn. You could have date night or be romantic. Try new and exciting things for you both. The old over and over again becomes cold!
Steps To Increase Intimacy with Your Partner
Sex is not the only factor to being intimate. You can enjoy intimacy
with your partner by walking together, having dinner together in a
romantic atmosphere and others.
The following steps may help you increase physical intimacy
- Educate yourself. Just learning what sexual changes come with aging and menopause will go a long way to help you handle the challenges.
- Relaxation techniques
may relief stress and allay anxiety.These can include erotic or
non-erotic fantasies; exercises with intercourse; and music, videos, or
television. - Use non-coital activities such as massage
- Be sure to vary your sexual routine.
- Be careful to handle pain appropriately either with lubricants, pain medications or even appropriate sexual positions.
For a more detailed and very helpful resources on sex after menopause, please visit the North American Menopause Society website section on sexual dysfunction. You will also find appropriate resources at the end of the resource.
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